Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Pre-Thanksgiving Rant

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. The day that I am supposed to acknowledge all that I am thankful for.

But today? Today is my day to acknowledge the crappy last few days that I have had.

Last week, I had car troubles. Took the car to get fixed, spent a little over $200 to "fix" it, then got stuck in Seattle and had the car towed 45 miles or so.

Monday was the worst though. It snowed heavily on Monday and I live on top of a series of hills. I got stuck. Royally stuck. About a foot from hitting the car parked by the sidewalk behind me. Finally got home 4 1/2 hours later.

Still working on the details of the posts for the above mentioned "mishaps". Suffice it to say, this week has sucked. Hopefully, I will have a fun happy post for you tomorrow!

Anyone else want to vent about their shitty lives at the moment? Now is the time to do so.

Friday, November 12, 2010

U-S-H-E-R-R-A-Y-M-O-N-D

Went to the Usher concert on Wednesday night. AMAZING! It was quite the eventful night outside of the concert itself.

I left work at lunch in order to get some last minute accessories and to ensure I had enough time to get ready. Concert was at 7:30 and dinner with the girls around 5:30 meant I had to leave my house at 4:00.

I got a text from John around 2:30 letting me know that his first bus didn't arrive so he was going to be late. Damn. I continued getting ready and got another text at 3:30 telling me that traffic is at a standstill and he isn't going to be home until 5:30 or 6:00. CRAP! Unfortunately, this means that I won't be able to ride down to Seattle with my girlfriends and could possibly miss dinner altogether. My adorable friend Lauren was genuinely disappointed that I wouldn't make it for the ride down to Seattle.

My only other option was to take my daughter over to my brother's house, which is five minutes away, hoping my mom, who lives with my brother, will be home from work soon (my brother was going to the concert too, so he was not an option). At this point, I had resigned myself to going to the concert all by my lonesome, which sucked because half the fun is the drinks and dinner with the girls, right?

So imagine my elation when I spot Grandma's car already parked in the driveway! Whoo hoo! I was just at a rolling stop before I shoved my precious daughter out of the car.

Ok, the concert. Again, it was AMAZING! I went with three girlfriends: Lauren, Anna and Suzie. Sadly, we had pretty awful seats and we tried to prepare by bringing binoculars, which we ended up forgetting in the car (the binoculars was a whole other debacle). Our seats were so far from the stage that Anna said, "We need binoculars just to see the big screen!" We were also overdressed for that part of the arena. In Suzie's words, "We should have just come in sweatpants and sneakers." To top it off, we were so high up and so steep that when I would get up to dance later on in the night, my legs would be so tense with the fear of falling! I was slightly sore the following day!

The opening act was Miguel:

Image found on www.hoodrellic.com
I have never heard of him, but Lauren knew of his song All I Want is You. I missed most of his performance trying to figure out a way to get the binoculars from the car. On the way back to our seats, Lauren heard him yell to the crowd, "Los Angeles, let me hear you scream!" Uh, don't you mean Seattle?! Whatever.

Image found on The Den of Snakeyes blog
 After Miguel was done there was a break. During the break, the DJ was playing some awesome old school that I must download. The next opening act was Trey Songz and I was looking forward to seeing him, but come on, he is no Usher. Imagine my surprise when a countdown clock came on the screen starting at five minutes and the crowd went nuts! Everyone around me (my girls had left to get some drinks) had stood up screaming for him. Am I missing something? Ok, Mr. Steal-Your-Girl had a great body that he showed off and some singing chops, but again, no Usher. Trey Songz's performance was pretty good and there were some really good video montages that played, but I was ready for the main event!

The lights went down and the stage was lit up. Usher's voice came over the loudspeakers but he was nowhere on the stage. The crowd was pretty loud, but they really lit up once Usher was spotted on a platform to the back of the arena (yes, by my section!). The platform was then raised by harnesses and Usher hovered over the crowd on the floor seats. I was terrified of plummeting to my death in the seats we were in, I can't imagine having to be suspended on a platform by what looked to be four teeny tiny strings!

Lauren was a bit disappointed with Usher's appearance: slim fitting pants and a longer tuft of hair up top. Suzie, on the other hand, couldn't stop saying how hot he looked. Me? I didn't mind the pants, but the hair was not so good.

The choreography was one of my favorite parts of the show. It was sexy without being raunchy (ok, some raunch, but that is ok by me) and it always amazes me how the female dancers can do what they do in heels. I can't do choreographed dance for anything (my body doesn't like to be told what to do), but everytime I see dancers on the stage, I feel like I missed my calling from another life.

There was a point in the concert where an audience member was picked to go on stage with Usher. The girl was smokin' hot. All I remember about her were her pants. They were black and shredded to the thigh. Something like this, but with more skin showing (like, a lot more skin showing):


Found at Discount Women's Dress Shoes
Usher was really playing to the crowd with this bit. Totally toying with the Shredded Pants Girl. He ended up on top of her, between her legs, which he had to guide. Now, I don't know about you, but my legs would've instinctively clamped onto that man! At the end of the routine, Shredded Pants Girl was straddling Usher and I just about fainted. That man is so sexy.

Usher sang a lot of his old hits, which was what Lauren was looking forward to. He did a chair routine that mimicked his My Way video and he put on some roller shoes like he used in the U Don't Have To Call video (well, at least that's what I thought it was. He made a big deal about the shoes but I don't recall him actually rolling anywhere). But we were very disappointed when he did a quick five minute mash-up of the songs from Confessions. That is probably my favorite album of his and it lasted no longer than the blink of an eye. But that is the only complaint I have. Well, there was also the random canon sounds that scared me.

Usher ended with OMG, complete with pyrotechnics and lights. Perfect ending to a nearly flawless concert.

I found out that Wednesday's concert kicked off his OMG Tour and I was excited to know we were among the first to see this concert. If he is coming to a town near you, it really is a concert worth seeing. My recommendation would be to splurge on the floor seating and don't forget to wear your shredded black leggings.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Honorable Mention!

I had a mini OMG moment! Again, it is one of those times where I win nothing of substantial value. I didn't even win the contest. But recognition for something really got my heart palpitating. Janet Reid held a contest to win Betsey Lerner's The Forest for the Trees. I had actually already bought a copy of the book when she first mentioned it, but entered the contest for fun anyway.

On Saturday, she announced the winner and some honorable mentions. Guess who was listed under "Nicely done stories"?!?!?! ME!

I was just skimming all the honorable mentions and saw "Melanie 4:53 pm". Could it really be? There are tons of Melanies following her blog, I am sure. But when did I post my submission?! I quickly skimmed the submissions on the original post and wouldn't you know it. I sure did submit mine at 4:53 pm!

Like I said, I didn't win anything, but just knowing I was on the radar for something really did it for me. I am complete. Well, for the day anyway!

The rules were:
- Tell a story in 100 words or less.
- You must use these words: Paris, Kids, Cullen, Loathing, Temple.

If you were a smart cookie and could guess what the words had in common, you get bonus points. Of course, once I saw the word "Cullen" I could think of nothing else but Twilight. So, I didn't even try to guess what the answer was. But here is my "Nicely done story":

“What are those pale kids supposed to be?” Mother wondered, tapping her finger to her temple.


“Vampires.” I responded, loathing this wretched holiday and wishing I were in Paris.


“But they don’t have any fangs! You can’t be a vampire without any fangs!”

“They are probably from the Cullen clan; the ones from those wildly popular but highly criticized books. They don’t have fangs.”


Mother opens the door and steps outside.


“What are you doing?” I yelled at her.

“Getting my candy back! That is an incomplete costume! You can’t pretend to be a vampire without any fangs.”

Ok, thanks for letting me brag for a quick minute. I promise my head will deflate now. I honestly do realize that I didn't win the contest. Nor was I even a finalist. But whatevs.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

The Secret Year, by Jennifer R. Hubbard

Wow, another book review! This is very unlike me. But I had put The Secret Year, by Jennifer R. Hubbard on hold at the library and it finally came in. I have been wanting to read it ever since I first read about it from Nathan Bransford's blog and was super excited to read it right away!

From the book jacket:


Colt was with Julia for a year, but nobody else knew about it. Julia lived on Black Mountain Road in a mansion - with servants - and had a country-club boyfriend to complete the package. Colt definitely didn't come from Black Mountain, and no one would have understood why they were together. But it never mattered to them. Until Julia dies in an accident right before her senior year, and Colt is suddenly the only one who knows their secret. He tries to pretend that his life is the same as ever, but he's haunted by memories of Julia. Things get worse after the journal she kept about their romance falls into his hands. Colt searches every entry for answers: Did Julia really love him? Was he somehow to blame for her death? But the ultimate question - one nobody can answer - is how he's supposed to get over someone who was never really his to begin with.

I fell for the plot immediately! It was juicy and tragic and intriguing. At 192 pages, it was a rather short book and I finished it fairly quickly. I enjoy yound adult books, but I would have preferred for this to be longer.

I had thought that there would be a lot of Julia's journal entries, but there were only a handful that were shared. The meat of the story wasn't so much the relationship that Colt had with Julia, but the social divide between the two and the way he deals with his grief over a relationship that was meant to stay secret.

I have a problem that when I start a book, I already have some preempted ideas about who I am supposed to like and dislike. I felt like I was supposed to like Julia, the poor little rich girl who loves her guy from the wrong side of the tracks (the wrong part of Black Mountain in this case), but is forced by high school's social hierarchy to stay with the guy that was "approved" to be with her. So it surprised me that I didn't like Julia the more I read. I came to realize, however, that Julia was never meant to be an exception to the popular rich girl rule; Julia was getting her hands dirty, toying with something new. Despite all her promises (which I am sure she had meant to keep), her upbringing would always steer her into the path that was paved for her. Colt never stood a chance.

I have to say that this is another book that I very much enjoyed. I loved the way Hubbard was able to smoothly transition between the present and the past. Something I have yet to master with my own book. I think she fully grasped the way that teens are today and the decisions they are faced with every day.

If you enjoy young adult books about forbidden loves, this should be on your list to read. 

P.S. My next book review won't be for a while since the current book that I am reading is a little over 600 pages!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Weigh-In Wednesday

Alright, so my weight gain last week wasn't all Aunt Flo's fault. I had gained weight overall, but I am down from last week. I am down 2.2 lbs. I have been so good today, having eaten a banana for breakfast, half of a very genetically altered large fuji apple, and half of a taco salad for lunch. Ok, fine, I will also come clean about my can of Coke that I guzzled at lunchtime too.

That's all I have to say for this Weigh-In Wednesday. Hopefully my morning walks/jogs will make a difference by next Wednesday.

Current Weight: 207.2 lbs.
Overall Weight-Loss: 22.8 lbs.

Random Bella Moment:
John was very generous for my birthday last year and gave me a super cute pink netbook. I was putting it on top of my dresser when it lost balance and fell onto the floor with a loud crash! It was heard throughout the house and it didn't help that I screamed "Noooooo!!!" Naturally John yells up, "What was that?"

After I unconvincingly responded with, "Nothing!"

Bella yells back, "Mommy's computer!"

Thanks for keeping me honest kid.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Godmother, by Carrie Adams


Image courtesy of Trashionista
I was in Target (or for you bourgeoisie, Targé) about a year ago and decide to browse their discounted books. Being the superficial girl that I am, I picked up The Godmother, by Carrie Adams because of its pretty cover. Sadly, this is how I meet a lot of my favorite books, their covers.

I admit it: I judge a book by its cover.

Anyway, I hadn’t heard of The Godmother before, but I liked the plot and so I bought the book. And it has since sat under my nightstand, collecting dust along with other unread titles like Wicked, Audition, and The Boy Who Loved Anne Frank. I enjoy reading and find inspiration for my own writing when I am reading. But I read in phases; sometimes I am so into reading that I will read more than one book at a time and then other times a good six months can pass without one single published word read as life just gets in the way.

Since I wasn’t going to the gym anymore, I found that I had more time on my hands. I decided to fill that extra time with The Godmother.

According to Publishers Weekly:

While 30-something Londoner Tessa King questions her no-strings-attached lifestyle, she also witnesses her friends' difficulties in marriage and parenthood while playing godmother to their broods. Nick and Francesca battle to keep their sullen teenager out of serious trouble; Billy, a single mom, can't break ties to her now remarried ex-; Helen and Neil, fairy tale parents to twin boys, are hiding something; successful Claudia and Al struggle to conceive; and Ben and Sasha have no plans to have children. But Ben also happens to be Tessa's best friend, and perhaps the love of her life. When tragedy eventually strikes the group, bonds are tested, and Tessa is forced to re-examine what she thinks will really make her happy. A painful look into the fears, doubts and desires that make and break marriages, this debut novel from Londoner Adams is notches up from the usual chick and mom lit fare.

I have to agree with PW. I really enjoyed reading this book. So much so that I read the last few pages when I was only 2/3 through the book because I was so impatient to find out what happens!

Tessa King is the godmother to four children, with the possibility of another godchild on the way. She is the single friend, the Bridget Jones, of the group. Her married friends envy her carefree lifestyle while Tessa craves their familial homes. The grass is always greener, right?

Slowly, Tessa learns that perfect couple/parents, Francesca and Nick, didn’t come to their current state of blissful chaos with ease. There were bumps and major hurdles to get through.

Childhood friends turned sweethearts, Claudia and Al, may not get the family of their dreams after numerous attempts at fertility treatments.

Beautiful, exotic Helen’s marriage to D-List celebrity Neil is just as tumultuous and scandalous as the typical tabloid couple.

What happened with Ben in the past, well nearly happened, should probably stay in the past.

Normally, I like a book to end with a perfect bow wrapping up the story. That was not necessarily the case here. The subplots that needed to be wrapped up were, but Tessa’s didn’t quite end with a “happily ever after”. But you know what? The ending was perfect for the story.

Phew! You still reading? Hopefully not all of my book reviews will be this long.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Back to the Grind

Normally, I set my alarm for 6:00. I shower at night, so it takes me about 45 minutes to get ready.

For the last three weeks, I have set my alarm at 5:00 am with the intention of walking on my treadmill for thirty minutes and then having enough time to shower right afterward.

For the last three weeks I have hit the snooze button until 5:45.

But today? Today was a success! I woke up at 5:00 (ok, fine, I hit the snooze button but ended up feeling super guilty so I was up at 5:07) stretched out my hip and started a brisk walk at a 2 incline. I was feeling so good that I decided to jog for two minutes. I haven't done any running in months because of my hip, so I really was surprised that I could jog for a measly two minutes. I probably could've gone longer, but I need to do this in baby steps. I don't want my hip to start hurting again.

My plan: I figure that I am young enough that I should be able to get to bed around 10:30 or 11:00 and still be able to wake up at 5:00 am. A woman at my work goes to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 then wakes up at 4:00 am! And she is twice my age! Well, maybe not quite twice my age, but older. Damn, I think I just inadvertently insulted her. Oh well, she doesn't read my blog.

Now, if only I wouldn't allow myself to get sucked into those Jersey Shore kids until midnight on weekdays...

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Weigh-In Wednesday

I shall keep it short and simple. This was not a good weigh-in (warning: TMI coming up!) and I would like to blame Aunt Flo for this one since she is visiting me this week.

I have tickets to the Usher concert in November. I am hoping this will encourage me to lose some weight so I can get all kinds of cute for him!


Current Weight: 209.4 lbs.

Random Bella Moment:
Bella: Mommy, I am all done with my sandwich.
Me: Good job!
Bella: I'm still hungry, Mommy.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry. Would you like some water?
Bella: Mommy, hungry means food.

Thanks for setting me straight, Bella! Mommy sure does have a lot to learn.

Monday, October 11, 2010

In the Heights


Lauren and I have again bought season tickets to The 5th Avenue Theatre. This is our second year as season ticket holders and one of Lauren's college roommates, Fernanda, decided to join us this year. The more the merrier!

We went to our first play of the season last night, "In the Heights". Per The 5th Ave's website:

"...In the Heights tells a universal story set in Manhattan's Washington Heights – a place where the coffee from the corner bodega is light and sweet, the windows are always open, and the breeze carries the rhythm of three generations of music. It's a community on the brink of change, full of hopes, dreams and pressures, where the biggest struggles can be deciding which traditions you take with you, and which ones you leave behind."

I honestly don't know much about Broadway plays and have never heard of this Tony Award winning one. The synopsis made me interested in it and then positive reviews started pouring in, which got me excited!

The set was intricate and amazing. It really held my attention and kept my eyes moving while we were waiting for the play to start. Then Graffitti Pete break-danced onto the scene and I turned to Lauren and said, "I can already tell I am going to love this play."

The play was about Washington Heights, a low income, largely Latino-based community in New York. The main character, Usnavi (pronounced oo-snah-vee), was the name his parents picked when they were immigrating to America and saw a ship pass with the name of "U.S. Navy." Oh how witty! The entire play had fun little moments like that.

The other thing that really pulled me in was the music. I was surprised how urban it all was; Usnavi did very little singing and rapped the majority of the time. The singing itself isn't what Broadway goers are used to either. Instead of the usual sing-acting (as I like to call the traditional Broadway belting), the actors sang songs that are easily radio friendly. Their naturally strong, melodic voices rang through the entire theatre. It was the type of singing that gives me goosebumps!

"In the Heights" was full of characters with large personalities (think Gloria from "Modern Family"), even bigger voices, and a beautiful set to match the terrific music. I don't normally buy soundtracks to musicals, but this is definitely one to own.

This really was a wonderful play to open up the 2010/2011 season and I can't wait for more!

P.S.
I never wear dresses, but I wore one to the play last night. I now remember why I don't wear dresses. I felt like I forgot my pants.

Thursday, October 7, 2010

I won!

No, not the lottery.

No, not a literary agent.

No, not my battle with weight (yet!).

I have won immortality!!! Muah-ha-ha-ha!

Well, kind of.

I helped name the Thursday title posts for Melissa! Yay me. Ok, ok, so I didn't win a trophy, but I really was genuinely excited to see it. Go check it out.

Now, if you will excuse me, I need to go win some money from a radio station. I am feelin' lucky!

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Weigh-In Wednesday Numero Uno (Again)

I have decided that there isn't anything wrong with constantly "starting over" on my diet. Actually, starting over on anything repeatedly is fine by me. I mean, it's better than giving up, right?

Ok, so my convictions aren't very committed. But here I am again. Starting over.

Last Wednesday I wrote a post, but didn't publish it because I re-read it and was super ashamed. As a matter of fact, I had titled that post as "Ashamed". Here it is in all its sadness:

"Ashamed"
Post Dated 9/29/10

I weighed myself for the first time this morning. I was scared. I knew it would be bad.

212.2 pounds.

Looking back on my weight-loss tracker, I have gained 16.6 pounds since June. I have gained nearly 17 pounds in the last three months.

I am shamed.

I know I have "started over" many times through the course of this blog, and I am horrified that I am doing it again. But I have to if I want to reach any of my goals by this time next year. I am already one year behind on reaching the goals I originally declared.

I have so many other wants, dreams, and hopes, but my weight is the one that I can control and accomplish as fast or as slow as I choose. I don't want to be a human yo-yo anymore. I have 48 weeks until I turn 30. I need to lose 78 pounds to reach my goal of 135 pounds. All I would need to do is stick to a reasonable 1-2 pound weight-loss for the next 48 weeks and I will reach my goal.

Can I do it? Can I be reasonable? We'll find out - slow and steady.

I know, you want to stop reading my blog because I am such a failure! But wait! Read on...

I'm afraid that I am a Paper Tiger, a term I learned from reading The Ex Hot Girl's blog (who in turn got it from this guy). I failed in my goals and when the going got tough I didn't post. This week ended up being a good week and so now I post. Paper Tiger, that's me.

I will again try to be more consistent on Wednesdays, I can do once a week, right? And if my ups and downs helps someone else go through their ups and downs, then all the better!

This last week I didn't eat out as much and I went to the gym for the first time. It appears to have paid off because I weighed in at 206.8 this morning, for a total loss of 5.4 pounds this week.

Now, let me disclose that I did something on Monday to help me get into the mode of eating right: I fasted. Not for the entire day, but for a good 24 hours. I finished dinner on Sunday at around 7:30 pm and ate my chicken and hearty salad around the same time on Monday, after the gym.

Why did I fast?

I appreciate food so much more after a good fast. Not in the "give me a burger STAT" kind of way, but in a "banana, all I need is a banana" kind of way. I am hoping that my brain will reset itself and I can now proceed with my weight-loss in the normal way of thinking. I hope.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hello, Gym, Missed Me?

Last night was my first visit to the gym in... umm... well, it's actually been so long I don't even remember the last time I went! I didn't do any kind of physical activity for the entire month of September - unless you count hefting up my big behind to go get some Tillamook's Limited Edition Grandma's Cake Batter Ice Cream. That's right, Limited Edition.

My boot camp fee is $64.07 and my gym is $49.13. That is a grand total of $113.20 wasted last month.

I have a legit reason for not being aggressive with my workouts. Before you ask, no, it was not a legit excuse to stop watching what I eat. Anyway, I got my MRI results back and I have a "benign stress sclerotic lesion." No, I don't know what that means. I tried to look it up online but couldn't find anything. But the doctor's office wasn't concerned so neither am I. The only comment was, "If the patient is still in pain, consult sports medicine doctor." Well, I was a bit achey, but nothing serious. So I wait a couple more weeks before I hit the gym again because I really don't want my hip to start hurting.

I wanted to ease my way back into working out, so last night I was on the incumbent bike, catching up with my US Weekly's that had piled up (I only read these at the gym). To my surprise, I was on there for an hour. I was nervous that I would wake up this morning with my hip hurting again, but it was totally fine. The gym rat is back!

Friday, October 1, 2010

My Favorite Day of the Week!

TGIF, people! And welcome to Breast Cancer Awareness month. In honor of this cause, I am wearing my obligatory pink. Are you?
Pink.jpg picture by melaniehokin

Fridays really are the best days of the week. Ok, maybe Saturdays are, but it is going to be a beautiful (and certainly unusual for this time of year) 75 degrees today!

In keeping with the whole pink theme, here is a beautiful pair of shoes that I have been lusting after for the last year or so:


Retailing at a little over $300, these babies fall under the category of My-Broke-A$$-Can't-Afford. But oh how pretty!!! A rounded toe! Patent pink! A bow! Oh be still my heart, Mr. Jacobs - you really had me in mind for this one!

On another note, I have made a huge declaration: I will only go out to eat once a week!

Ok, for most of you, that isn't anything unusual. But if you personally know me, you know that I go out to eat pretty much everyday for lunch. I am killing two birds with one stone with this declaration of mine. First, I will lose weight because I don't always make the best decisions when I go out to eat. Second, I will save money because I am pretty sure that a good 50%-75% of my paycheck goes to the neighboring restaurants.

Can I do it? I really have no choice. I must.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

My 4-Year-Old Teenager

My Bella.


What a handful that girl is. She is just the cutest thing in the world - for the most part. Last night? Not so much.

While Daddy was watching football, Bella and I were upstairs hanging out in the master bedroom. One too many times Bella "accidentally" kicked me. When I had reached my limit, I sent her to her room. No yelling, just a firm, "Bella, you need to go to your room."

As she was walking away with her head down and her feet stomping, she said, "I wish I didn't live in this house!"


My ears must have deceived me. Little girls don't say that! This is teenager crap. I should have eight more years to prepare for that kind of stuff! What could I have mistaken her sentence for? "I wish I didn't lick a mouse"? That was more feasible since kids do weird things. But I knew I hadn't misheard.

I called Bella back into my room and said, "Bella, what did you say?"


Without an ounce of fear or humility, Bella once again repeated, "I wish I didn't live in this house."

The mix of anger and hurt were competing within me. I couldn't very well cry in front of her, so I told her to go back to her room and pack up her things if she wanted to live somewhere else. To my surprise, she walked away without a fuss. After a couple of minutes, I walked into her room to find her laying on her bed. I repeated that she needed to find another place to live if she didn't want to live in my house. She still wasn't scared or sorry. I told her to tell her dad she was leaving.


At this point, Bella knew that I meant business. As she was walking down the stairs, she started crying saying that she didn't want to leave. After a talking to from her dad, she apologized and suddenly became my precious little child again.


This was all in a span of 20 minutes. She is only four. Hot damn, being a parent is hard.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

The Joys of Aging

Has anyone noticed the lack of posts lately? Well, I have. It has everything to do with my lack of exercising and dieting.

A few weeks back, my right hip was hurting pretty badly. But it was one of those things that I figured would go away on its own. Well, it didn't. Three weeks of aches and limping caused me to finally call my doctor. That same week, I had stopped running and going to the gym. Wouldn't ya know it, my hip started to feel better. My doctor advised to continue to lay off the whole running bit for now, but it was ok to continue to go to the gym I would just have to avoid exercises working out my hip flexor area. Of course I took that as a sign to discontinue working out altogether.

At the time of my appointment, my doctor advised that I see a sports medicine specialist to figure out what is going on with my hip. Ha! The thought of me, me of little exercise and lots of eating, going to a sports medicine doctor was unfathomable, but whatever, I do what I am told. One of the prerequisites to seeing a sports medicine doctor is to have an x-ray done of the affected area. Well, that was back on August 27th.

They apparently found something out of the norm in my x-ray and they wanted to do an MRI. Don't fret folks, the person I spoke to was clear that it isn't something to be concerned about, but because the x-ray didn't come back 100% normal, they need to do the MRI as a precautionary thing.

I have never had an MRI done. I know what the machine looks like and was nervous to lay inside a coffin-like contraption. What made me even more jittery and anxious was the questionnaire they conducted over the phone: No, I don't have shrapnel in my body. No, I don't suffer from claustraphobia (although I have never really tried to lock myself inside of a closet before - you know, just to see how it feels). No, I don't have siezures. No. No. No, to all of their questions. I found out after the call that I should've said "yes" to claustraphobia because I would've gotten a lovely prescription for Vallum.

Anyway, everyone I spoke to said the exact same thing about an MRI:

1.) It is no big deal.
2.) They give you headphones with music playing.
3.) It takes about 20-25 minutes.

On Monday, the date of my MRI (which had been pushed back by a week, by the way), my nerves were calmed down a bit by all the reassurances I was getting. John drove me there and he likes to show up for functions at least an hour early (no joke). Around 1:20-ish, a very nice lady came to get me, but she appeared to be going in the wrong direction because she was headed outside and all that was back there was a trailer.

Oh, but the joke was on me. That's right, I was going into a trailer. This is where I should've realized itwas not going to be the easy breezy experience everyone lead me to believe. I get into the lift (because apparently they don't want me to hurt myself clambering up the two foot staircase) and they roll up the door to the trailer.

There it is: the MRI machine. Located in a handy dandy, sturdy trailer.

The hole I am supposed to lay in is even smaller than I had imagined. I lay down and am immediately uncomfortable. I should've asked for a pillow under my lower back. I don't have a voluptious booty or anything, but I do have quite the mass of body in my hips (attractive, I know) which caused my back to be arched the entire time. To make matters worse, I had to point my feet slightly inwards. Sound easy? You try it then! My feet naturally turn outwards when I lay on my back. I believe this is true for most people because the tech had her tape ready to tape my feet in place.

Let's recap: Im in a trailer. My back hurts. My feet are taped in an awkward position.

I am then told that the MRI will be about 45 minutes. What?! I try my best to not let my shock and fear show. Ok, breathe. I am good. Give me my headphones.

Tech: "Ok, I am going to give you these earplugs because the machine is so loud."

Ear plugs? Don't you mean headphones with nice relaxing music to put me at ease? Nope, full on squishy, neon yellow ear plugs. I figure it is too late to run now and I shove those suckers into my ear canal and pray that I make it through. The machine sucks me in and the first thing I see are faint long marks/scratches on the inner chamber of the MRI. Realistically, I am sure it was left by someone cleaning the machine or even possibly someone a little larger whose buttons have scraped the machine a bit. But reality wasn't setting in at that moment and to me, well, to my irrational mind saw those marks as someone desperately trying to claw their way out of the coffin! I nearly pressed my panic button at that point.

Then the clicking came on. Then, the noise. The Noise. For those of you that have never had an MRI done, let me explain The Noise to you: it is a mix between the whooshing of hearing a baby's heartbeat while in the mother's womb and the siren of a police car. It was a constant wave of wah! wah! wah! wah! and weoh! weoh! weoh! weoh!

Finally, nearly an hour later, it was over. But I couldn't get up! My back was so achy that the tech had to reach out a hand to assist me. And for those of you that think I was just being a big baby, the tech had apologized that I had to be in there that long!

Tech: "Most of them are a lot shorter than what you had to do, but some of them are even longer."

Me: "So for the most part I should be happy mine was as short as it was, right?"

Tech: "Um, no. You were in there for a pretty good amount of time."

A to the w-e-s-o-m-e.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Someone get me out of here!

Something devastating happened to me last Wednesday (ok, not quite as devastating as my story from yesterday).

I am a member of Bally's gym. I pay a grand total of $9.63 a month for my membership, which includes child care while I work out. But you get what you pay for: the gym is older and so is the equipment, the child care area is a room with a TV, a whole bunch of VHS tapes, and toys. Nothing spectacular. But I pay NINE DOLLARS AND SIXTY THREE CENTS A MONTH! You won't find a gym membership for that price anywhere.

So, I went to Bally's and noticed that the parking lot was pretty empty for a Wednesday evening. When I get up to the door, there is a large sign that informed members that the gym was closing. CLOSING?! Nooooooo!!! The closest Bally's to me is 20 minutes out of my way, I have no choice but to look for a new gym.

I settle on L.A. Fitness, which is $34.99 a month, plus $10 for child care. Ouch! I am then asked to make an appointment for a "fit test". I have had to do these before: they pinch your fat with a claw-like contraption to determine your body fat percentage, they take your measurements, they weigh you and they usually work you out and try to sell you on a trainer.

What I didn't know is that they will keep you there for 45 minutes trying to sell you a trainer even after you have made it perfectly clear that you are not interested because you are not ready to sign up with a trainer, you do boot camp, your membership just went up like a thousand percent and you can't afford to pay for the service. The salesman actually had the nerve to ask, "Cost aside, what would be the best option for you? For your health? For your body?"

My favorite conversation from this session was:

Obnoxious Salesman: I know that cost is a big issue, but let me put it to you this way: How many cars have you had?
Me: Two.
OS: Have you ever had a car payment?
Me: Yes.
OS: Did you enjoy having that car payment?
Me: No.
OS: So why did you buy the car then?
Me: I had to.
OS: So, you have had two cars, right?
Me: Yes.
OS: And how many bodies will you have?
Me: One.
OS: So wouldn't this be something you need to do for the one body you will have?
Me: No. Joining the gym was something I felt I needed to do. Getting a trainer is not.

*Insert crickets chirping here*

Seriously, this guy was a certified salesman. Never giving in to the word "NO". It got to a point where his "assistant" (who had been the one to actually do the training session with me) was so uncomfortable that he started looking in different directions, trying to remove himself from the awkwardness as much as possible without actually being able to get up and walk away.

Finally, Obnoxious Salesman wrapped the conversation up with, "Ok, so what do you think?" He then leaned back in his chair like he just nailed it and was waiting for his reward.

Instead, I shook my head and finished the conversation with the same statement I started it with, “I am not ready to sign up for a trainer.”

So thank you, Obnoxious Salesman, for wasting your time, wasting my time, wasting my daughter's time who was sitting in your child care area for 45 minutes instead of spending quality time with me. Come to think of it, I should've had my daughter sitting with us at the table. Ten minutes with my rambunctious, hungry 4-year-old and Obnoxious Salesman would've been done. Damn, why didn't I think of that sooner?

The one fun thing about this whole thing was that the salesman thought I was like 22 or 24. For some reason I told him I was 29 even though I don't turn 29 for another few weeks. This is very strange for someone like me who dreads every birthday. Then the assistant thought the same thing and did not believe I was 29 (which, ok, isn't entirely true anyway) and thought I was 24 at most. Of course I realize this could have been a sales trick - you know, flatter the clients to win over their money - but whatever, it kind of worked, I was flattered. Especially after Monday's wonderful ending.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

She Should've Known Better

Let me tell you a little story about my day yesterday.

While at work, I left my post at the receptionist desk to check the fax machine. As I was coming back to my desk, a woman was waiting to be helped. This woman was very oddly shaped. She was about a size 14 from her chest up and like a 22 or 24 below. Ok, normally I don't comment on a woman's size, but this woman was wearing spandex from head to toe! I could see every crevasse, ripple, and roll. All I thought was how inappropriate that outfit is on that woman. Was this a mean thing to think? Yes, but you would've understood if you had seen her! And don't you worry, she certainly got back at me for my mean thoughts.

I came back around to my desk and helped the person who was holding for me on the phone. I then turned to the inapproriately dressed, disproportioned woman, smiled in greeting and said, "Hi, how can I help you?"

The woman started off with, "Well..." Then she cuts herself off, points at my stomach, smiled and continued with, "Oh, how cute. You're expecting!"

Blood rushed to my face with a mixture of humiliation and anger. The smile disappeared from my face. Possible responses that flashed through my brain were:

1.) "Wow. You of all people - you should know better than to ask someone that!"

2.) "Oh yes. Baby is coming any day now!"

3.) "No, just fat. Like you."

4.) "No, but you must be! Congratulations!"

Instead, I took the "professional" route and responded with, "No, I'm not. How can I help you?"

The woman didn't apologize and just said, "Ok, I will shut up now." And she continued on with what she came in for in the first place.

Here's the thing: I am big girl. I know that and am trying to fix that. I don't have any misconceptions about my body. I have a lot of weight to lose. I do have a larger belly, but it isn't the hard round pregnant looking stomach. It is a nice soft, come-rest-your-head-on-my-king-sized-pillow-of-a-stomach type of belly. I know that I don't look pregnant. I just look fat.

I am positive that she said what she did to insult me, and not because she really thought I was pregnant. First off, she caught me staring at her body, which I am sure she must not have been pleased by. But the main reason is because she, as a large woman, knows better than to say something like that to someone. She. Should. Know. Better.

Another reason is the lack of humiliation and remorse after I set her straight that I was not pregnant. Or maybe she really was just a moron. Take your pick.

This situation really had me seething all day yesterday and, so far, all day today. Whatever, I have a date with the gym after work to try and get rid of my faux pregnancy.

Hopefully your Monday ended a little better than mine did.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

'S On Like Donkey Kong!

I have been in a funk lately. A diet/exercise/health funk. I struggle with this constantly.

Since my brother's wedding way back in June, I have checked out of living healthy. I have since gained back a little over 10 pounds. I am shamed.

I realized that I needed something other than the idea of having a fit body to motivate me because, frankly, that just seems so out of reach right now. I tried to tell myself to lose 20 pounds by my birthday in September, hoping that would put me back on track. Nope. Didn't work.

But alas! I have some crazy co-workers that have decided to join me in my weight-loss journey. We are starting a small office pool (right now it consists of two other co-workers and one of their boyfriends). A Biggest Loser type of contest.

Each contestant buys-in for $50 and the goal is to lose the highest percentage of body weight in one month. On September 10th the winner gets the cashola! We may have a couple more people that will enter who will have to weigh in tomorrow and their last day will be September 11th.

I am super excited and this contest really did the trick to motivate me. My inspiration for the month? Why, none other than Miss Jennifer Hudson!




To close this post, I am going to have to do a dreaded weight recap (eek!)

Current Weight: 206.0 lbs. (The Horror!!!)

Monday, July 26, 2010

Oh! Oh! Oh! Chocolates

Is it possible to experience the big "O" by eating chocolate? I say, quite possibly, yes.

Last Saturday I went to Oh! Chocolate with my girlfriends. It is a fancy chocolate truffles store and they offer a chocolate class for $59.

It was worth every penny.

When we walked to the far end of the store, there were two large marble-top tables covered with wax paper. When resting my forearms on the table, I quickly learned how cold marble is in an overly air-conditioned room on a warm summer day.

When you sit down, you are greeted with an offer for either their java or homemade hot chocolate. Now, this isn't your everyday Swiss Miss hot cocoa. This was the syrupy, decadent stuff that Julliette Binoche served to Johnny Depp in the movie Chocolat. I have wanted to try this hot chocolate for the longest time, so even with the warning that they were running low on the hot chocolate, I still opted for a cup half full. Those six sinful ounces alone was worth the full amount that I paid for the class. Seriously. I took a picture of it, but it just didn't give it justice - just imagine smooth, thick, silkyness coating your tongue and throat in liquid ecstasy and you will get the picture (my, my, is it getting hot in here?).


Shortly after licking my cup clean, the class started. It was being conducted by one of the original owner's grandsons, who shall henceforth be called the "Chocolate Ninja" due to his line of work and the fact that he pulled out a big ass pocket knife and proceeded to tell us about how he takes some kind of martial arts classes. I really enjoyed the fact that a relative of the owner was giving the class, because he was able to provide some family moments and memories that personalized the whole experience. Anyway, during his whole spiel, we had this plate of chocolate in front of us:


Starting at the 12:00 position: cocoa nibs, dark chocolate, mango jalapeno truffle (not something I really like, but still managed to eat the whole thing), semi-sweet, and white.


We started the tasting with the cocoa nibs. They were crunchy, and nutty. Nothing like what you would expect chocolate to originate from. But then we were told to rub them between our hands to warm them up. This brought out a whole new flavor in the cocoa nibs; they became sweeter.


Next were the dark chocolate chips. Chocolate Ninja set us up by asking the question, “Who here likes dark chocolate?” The majority of the class raised their hands. “Let’s test that.” Chocolate Ninja ominously replied.


I put half of one large, flat chip into my mouth. Only one flavor came through: bitter. It was unpleasant to say the least. It is what I would imagine coffee grinds on my tongue to taste like. Unfortunately, for my friend, Lauren, she decided to put an entire chip in her mouth and proceeded to show me her best Bitter Beer Face.


The other three chocolates were dark, semi-sweet, and white. I am not a dark chocolate kind of gal, but this particular one seriously won me over. It was rich, dark smoothness. The dark chocolate was my favorite by far.

Next on the agenda was chocolate tempering time! We were provided with two full cups of chocolate:

To temper the chocolate, you simply had to pour a good amount onto the table and just keep mixing it around with your hand until it thickened and cooled a bit. Once it was at the right temperature, we got to cover an array of snacks: Oreos (my personal favorite!), marshmallows, pretzels, potato chips, graham crackers, strawberries, blueberries, and anything else you may have brought with you (I know for next time to bring gummy bears with me!). I started running out of room on my part of the table. To fix that problem, I simply started eating the stuff I had just covered in chocolate. They actually provided us with so much food that my hand started cramping up! I had to quit a little early because of it. But out of all the things I made, the best was still these:


CHOCOLATE FINGERS!!!



At the end of the class, you are left with this “plate” of tempered chocolate. We were advised by Lauren’s parents that this must be taken home and eaten. So I boxed that right up too.


This class is just about the worst thing a dieter can put themselves through, but it really was worth the extra eight hours in the gym!

Some more fun chocolote loving pictures:


This was my take home box. There were three additional layers underneath that looked just like this one.
Do I have anything in my teeth?

Germaine getting creative with her graham crackers.

The happy aftermath of some chocolate loving!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

You know you are a fatty if...

I thought I would open today's post with my own version of Jeff Foxworthy's "You know you're a redneck if..." because of all the incidents I have had lately regarding my, um, how shall I put it? Largeness. So, you know you are a fatty if...

... family that hasn't seen you in a while tell you how much weight it looks like you have lost, but you are still not able to fit in your bridesmaid dress.

... the person behind the counter at the new burger joint advises not to get the mozzarella sticks you just ordered for your table in addition to the meals.

... your 4-year-old daughter's response to you not having a bathing suit is, "You need to buy a baybing suit in your size. Ok, Mommy? Get one that will fit your big belly, ok?"

If you have experienced any of the above, then I am sorry to tell you that yes, you are a fatty. But that can always be changed!

I went to boot camp yesterday for the first time in three weeks. It was pretty brutal. I was glad to see that although I hadn't done any running in three weeks, I was still able to complete a lap without stopping, while holding weighted balls - 13 pounds to be exact! Today, my quads are killing me and I am doing a great imitation of an 80-year-old woman everytime I try to stand up.

Monday, July 12, 2010

100th Post!

I feel like a television show with a special new episode to celebrate the big 100!

Anyway, to comemorate this blog milestone, I have decided to introduce a new blog format. I was inspired a little while ago by Pam  when she changed it up on her old blog and dedicated each day to a specific topic. I am not saying that I am guaranteeing a post every day, but with a specific structure I may be able to post more often. As you have noticed, I have been a poor blogger and hopefully this new format will get me out of my blogging rut. 

Lately, all I have been blogging about is my weight. But there is more to me than my weight issues. I have issues. Lots of issues. So let me share them with you!

Ok, here is what I am thinking would be a fun new format:

Monday
Mondays are usually just about work for me, so I have no creativity in me. I think I will take Mondays to write about goals I may have for the week, or share stories about my family, friends and other miscellaneous stuff. Hey, Miscellaneous Monday! I do love myself some alliteration!

Tuesday
I am hoping to write more about, well, writing! Still haven't gotten into the swing of things, but I will include anything from books I am currently reading (which is none right now), writing I have done (which is none right now), and maybe even a little about books turned movies/TV shows. Basically anything related to reading, writing, and/or publishing.

Wednesay
Wednesdays will remain as "Weigh-In Wednesdays". I haven't really weighed myself in a week or so and was up quite a bit the last time I did. It will be interesting/terrifying to see what my "official" weight will be this Wednesday.

Thursday
I actually despise Thursdays. I have always felt like Thursday was a big tease. See, Monday and Tuesday is so early in the work week that I don't even think about when the weekend is coming. Wednesdays are about the same for me. No big deal. But Thursdays are just such a big tease! You are thisclose to the weekend, but not quite there yet.

So, to get me out of the Thursday Blues, I figure I would post about stuff I love! For those of you that hate materialistic people, you will need to opt out for these posts, because it will likely be about fabulous things I find on the internet or some divine purchase I just made. I love stuff!

Friday
Fridays will be my "If I Was A Stick" day. As in Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson skinny. To motivate myself to lose weight, I have always talked about things I would do or what I would wear if I were skinny. Boy would I be active and social if I was slim.

There you have it, my tentative new blogging format. I will likely deviate from time to time, but hey, it's my blog, right? Nothing is written in stone and I am certainly open to suggestions. I think I will start this new format next week. Ah, nothing like a good make-a-plan-then-procrastinate combination.

Monday, July 5, 2010

Bad, Bad Bloggess!

Oh my goodness, has it really been nearly a month since I last blogged?! Have I really been devoid of thought for the last three and a half weeks?

Actually, it is the complete opposite. I have just been so busy with work, my brother's wedding (which happened two Fridays ago) and having family in town that I haven't been able to find the time to do any extracurriculars, like blogging. As a matter of fact, I haven't even been to the gym or done boot camp for almost two weeks now!

For those of you that are wondering, I didn't lose quite as much weight as I had hoped to before my brother's wedding. I slightly resembled an overstuffed sausage in the dress. Actually, more like an overstuffed hot link - the dress was red. However, there was family at the wedding that I hadn't seen since Christmas and I got a lot of "oh you have lost weight!" This certainly lifted my spirits about how I looked. But as the pictures started trickling in, I began my self-depracating routine and hated every shot of me! I was able to find one that I liked of me though, mainly because my daughter and her cousin was covering the majority of my sausasgeness:


The good news about a too tight bridesmaid dress is that I couldn't physically stuff my face with all the scrumptious food as much as I had hoped to. This caused me to get down to 192.8 as of the Saturday after the wedding. But I have certainly made up for it in the last week.

With the wedding behind me, I find that it is a struggle to get back to counting calories and going to the gym. Apparently I have chosen gluttony and sloth as my sins of choice for this week.

At this point, I have no clue what my weight is. There is no doubt in my mind that I have reached the 198-200 pound mark again. I was hoping to go back to the gym last week, but I have been suffering from chest congestion and a cough. The cough still hasn't gone away completely, but I am going to try and go back to the gym tomorrow. I will post more pictures of the wedding as soon as I can get my act together and organize my life again.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Weigh-In Wednesday #23

Oh you guys will be so proud of me! I have lost 2.6 pounds this week! I implemented the circuit training that my boot camp trainer recommended which includes five minutes on the Stairmaster at level six, followed by 15 push-ups, 15 shoulder lifts (again, I am making the names up), and 15 tricep curls. I had to do this four times. The Stairmaster portion was brutal because I normally do it at level four.

In addition, I have still been sticking to my morning runs/jogs and even did my first 10 minute run/jog in over five years! I had a very good week in the working out department, but my eating habits are still suffering. Man, could I have possibly lost five pounds this week had I stuck to my calorie counting? In all honesty, if you saw what I ate on Saturday and Sunday, then the answer would be a resounding, YES!!!

But I am super happy with my 2.6 pounds and feel like I am on a roll. Skinnybitchdom, here I come!

Oh, and let me give a warm welcome to some lovely new friends:
Cheyenne - thanks to your advice, I have started bringing my netbook to my daughter's gymnastics class and have started writing again!
Melissa - who has a countdown to her vacation at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. You know I started following her the moment I saw that! My trip is sadly much further into the future, September 2011 to be exact.
Renae - thanks for your comment yesterday! I am totally feeling like this whole weight-loss blogging is worth while and certainly keeping my spirits up.

Thanks for the support ladies!

I have been a poor blogger/follower lately because work has been busy and I have been stressed about fitting into my bridesmaid dress. But I will be on track soon enough!

Weight: 195.6 lbs.
Total Weight Lost: 34.4 lbs.