Back to the Grind

Normally, I set my alarm for 6:00. I shower at night, so it takes me about 45 minutes to get ready.

For the last three weeks, I have set my alarm at 5:00 am with the intention of walking on my treadmill for thirty minutes and then having enough time to shower right afterward.

For the last three weeks I have hit the snooze button until 5:45.

But today? Today was a success! I woke up at 5:00 (ok, fine, I hit the snooze button but ended up feeling super guilty so I was up at 5:07) stretched out my hip and started a brisk walk at a 2 incline. I was feeling so good that I decided to jog for two minutes. I haven't done any running in months because of my hip, so I really was surprised that I could jog for a measly two minutes. I probably could've gone longer, but I need to do this in baby steps. I don't want my hip to start hurting again.

My plan: I figure that I am young enough that I should be able to get to bed around 10:30 or 11:00 and still be able to wake up at 5:00 am. A woman at my work goes to bed around 9:30 or 10:00 then wakes up at 4:00 am! And she is twice my age! Well, maybe not quite twice my age, but older. Damn, I think I just inadvertently insulted her. Oh well, she doesn't read my blog.

Now, if only I wouldn't allow myself to get sucked into those Jersey Shore kids until midnight on weekdays...

Weigh-In Wednesday Numero Uno (Again)

I have decided that there isn't anything wrong with constantly "starting over" on my diet. Actually, starting over on anything repeatedly is fine by me. I mean, it's better than giving up, right?

Ok, so my convictions aren't very committed. But here I am again. Starting over.

Last Wednesday I wrote a post, but didn't publish it because I re-read it and was super ashamed. As a matter of fact, I had titled that post as "Ashamed". Here it is in all its sadness:

"Ashamed"
Post Dated 9/29/10

I weighed myself for the first time this morning. I was scared. I knew it would be bad.

212.2 pounds.

Looking back on my weight-loss tracker, I have gained 16.6 pounds since June. I have gained nearly 17 pounds in the last three months.

I am shamed.

I know I have "started over" many times through the course of this blog, and I am horrified that I am doing it again. But I have to if I want to reach any of my goals by this time next year. I am already one year behind on reaching the goals I originally declared.

I have so many other wants, dreams, and hopes, but my weight is the one that I can control and accomplish as fast or as slow as I choose. I don't want to be a human yo-yo anymore. I have 48 weeks until I turn 30. I need to lose 78 pounds to reach my goal of 135 pounds. All I would need to do is stick to a reasonable 1-2 pound weight-loss for the next 48 weeks and I will reach my goal.

Can I do it? Can I be reasonable? We'll find out - slow and steady.

I know, you want to stop reading my blog because I am such a failure! But wait! Read on...

I'm afraid that I am a Paper Tiger, a term I learned from reading The Ex Hot Girl's blog (who in turn got it from this guy). I failed in my goals and when the going got tough I didn't post. This week ended up being a good week and so now I post. Paper Tiger, that's me.

I will again try to be more consistent on Wednesdays, I can do once a week, right? And if my ups and downs helps someone else go through their ups and downs, then all the better!

This last week I didn't eat out as much and I went to the gym for the first time. It appears to have paid off because I weighed in at 206.8 this morning, for a total loss of 5.4 pounds this week.

Now, let me disclose that I did something on Monday to help me get into the mode of eating right: I fasted. Not for the entire day, but for a good 24 hours. I finished dinner on Sunday at around 7:30 pm and ate my chicken and hearty salad around the same time on Monday, after the gym.

Why did I fast?

I appreciate food so much more after a good fast. Not in the "give me a burger STAT" kind of way, but in a "banana, all I need is a banana" kind of way. I am hoping that my brain will reset itself and I can now proceed with my weight-loss in the normal way of thinking. I hope.

My Favorite Day of the Week!

TGIF, people! And welcome to Breast Cancer Awareness month. In honor of this cause, I am wearing my obligatory pink. Are you?

Fridays really are the best days of the week. Ok, maybe Saturdays are, but it is going to be a beautiful (and certainly unusual for this time of year) 75 degrees today!

In keeping with the whole pink theme, here is a beautiful pair of shoes that I have been lusting after for the last year or so:

Marc by March Jacobs Almarc Pump

Retailing at a little over $300, these babies fall under the category of My-Broke-A$$-Can't-Afford. But oh how pretty!!! A rounded toe! Patent pink! A bow! Oh be still my heart, Mr. Jacobs - you really had me in mind for this one!

On another note, I have made a huge declaration: I will only go out to eat once a week!

Ok, for most of you, that isn't anything unusual. But if you personally know me, you know that I go out to eat pretty much everyday for lunch. I am killing two birds with one stone with this declaration of mine. First, I will lose weight because I don't always make the best decisions when I go out to eat. Second, I will save money because I am pretty sure that a good 50%-75% of my paycheck goes to the neighboring restaurants.

Can I do it? I really have no choice. I must.

Pilot

I am a coward. Read on and you will see why.

I turned 28-years-old on September 12, 2009. I am 28 and haven't achieved any major accomplishments. No, I didn't go to college. Yes, I did accomplish the one task that a devout catholic mother dreads: my boyfriend and I have a 3 1/2 year old. Don't get me wrong, Grandma loves my daughter, but nothing would've pleased her more than if I had had a child with a husband instead of a boyfriend.

I have always been the type that hated aging. Twenty-one was a good age to stop at. Ok, maybe I could live with remaining 24 forever. Obnoxious, I know, but I can't help it.

So, obviously I lived past the age of 24 and obviously I didn't stop aging. But looking back on my life, I am suddenly irked by the fact that I haven't done anything amazing. I haven't "left my mark" in the world. I started thinking about what I would like to accomplish before I turn 30 and three things came to mind:

1.) Lose 80 pounds.
2.) Clear the credit card debt that I have racked up.
3.) Publish a book.

Here is where the cowardice comes in. I am too ashamed of my weight to publish it for the world to see. I am too horrified by my credit card debt to write down the actual figure.

One of the above three will happen this year. The other one will happen during my 29th year, if not sooner. The third goal, unfortunately, depends on other parties and isn’t a guarantee to ever be completed, let alone by my 30th birthday.

I know, compared to the first two goals, the third one seems random. And it is. I wrote a book. A fluff book I love and my friends and family love. But they are my friends and family, so they kind of have to love it. I have gotten over 75 rejections, and can certainly take a hint. That book has been laid to rest. I am starting another book though. Why would I start another book when the first one didn’t work out? The feeling of accomplishment. And that is exactly what my blog is about - accomplishments. But simply writing a book isn’t enough of an accomplishment for me. I want the book to matter and to be out there - legitimately. Not because I had to pay to publish it. I want it to be good enough, entertaining enough for someone else to say, “Yes, you are awesome, your book is awesome, let’s publish your awesomeness!”

So here is to day one of my two year plan.

Wait, it’s October already? But I turned 28 in September. Fine, here is to day one of my 23 month plan. Doesn’t have quite the same ring to it. Should’ve started on my birthday.

Damn, already behind.