I have decided that there isn't anything wrong with constantly "starting over" on my diet. Actually, starting over on anything repeatedly is fine by me. I mean, it's better than giving up, right?
Ok, so my convictions aren't very committed. But here I am again. Starting over.
Last Wednesday I wrote a post, but didn't publish it because I re-read it and was super ashamed. As a matter of fact, I had titled that post as "Ashamed". Here it is in all its sadness:
"Ashamed"
Post Dated 9/29/10
I weighed myself for the first time this morning. I was scared. I knew it would be bad.
212.2 pounds.
Looking back on my weight-loss tracker, I have gained 16.6 pounds since June. I have gained nearly 17 pounds in the last three months.
I am shamed.
I know I have "started over" many times through the course of this blog, and I am horrified that I am doing it again. But I have to if I want to reach any of my goals by this time next year. I am already one year behind on reaching the goals I originally declared.
I have so many other wants, dreams, and hopes, but my weight is the one that I can control and accomplish as fast or as slow as I choose. I don't want to be a human yo-yo anymore. I have 48 weeks until I turn 30. I need to lose 78 pounds to reach my goal of 135 pounds. All I would need to do is stick to a reasonable 1-2 pound weight-loss for the next 48 weeks and I will reach my goal.
Can I do it? Can I be reasonable? We'll find out - slow and steady.
I know, you want to stop reading my blog because I am such a failure! But wait! Read on...
I'm afraid that I am a Paper Tiger, a term I learned from reading The Ex Hot Girl's blog (who in turn got it from this guy). I failed in my goals and when the going got tough I didn't post. This week ended up being a good week and so now I post. Paper Tiger, that's me.
I will again try to be more consistent on Wednesdays, I can do once a week, right? And if my ups and downs helps someone else go through their ups and downs, then all the better!
This last week I didn't eat out as much and I went to the gym for the first time. It appears to have paid off because I weighed in at 206.8 this morning, for a total loss of 5.4 pounds this week.
Now, let me disclose that I did something on Monday to help me get into the mode of eating right: I fasted. Not for the entire day, but for a good 24 hours. I finished dinner on Sunday at around 7:30 pm and ate my chicken and hearty salad around the same time on Monday, after the gym.
Why did I fast?
I appreciate food so much more after a good fast. Not in the "give me a burger STAT" kind of way, but in a "banana, all I need is a banana" kind of way. I am hoping that my brain will reset itself and I can now proceed with my weight-loss in the normal way of thinking. I hope.
2 comments:
I can't commend you enough with how brave you are for sharing your dieting with us. I think the key is portion control and moving--even if you're walking for 20 minutes. I make sure that my meat portion is not larger than my fist, and I actually measure my sides based on the serving sides listed on the box/bag. Yes, it's a pain--but it gets the job done. :)
Way to post, Mel! I'm the opposite because I only post when I'm feeling bad as a way to feel better. Don't be ashamed, it's the best way of feeling better. It will help you reflect on what you've done so you don't do it again.
I really set up my year long weight loss, too. This time I'm trying to not let food win. The other day, I picked up potato chip, but before popping it into my mouth I said to it, "You don't even have a brain, how can you beat me?" Yes, I felt crazy talking to a chip, but I didn't eat it, so yea!
I'm going to try to use those meditation cd's from Chris mom that are meant for weight loss. I will let you know how it goes!
Post a Comment