I'm sorry...please define the word "budget"

If ever there was a word that I am deathly afraid of, it would be *cringe*: Budget.

As in a financial budget.

Like, with money.

My brain can't really comprehend the meaning of "living within my means". Unfortunately, at 28-years-old, it is finally time for me to grow up and figure this shit out. So here it is folks. After all of my credit card bills, house bills, food bills, car insurance bills, and gas bills, I have a whopping $300 for my "miscellaneous" expenses. This includes presents, going out to eat, going to AIRobics, and any other lifestyle maintenance paraphernalia such as shaving cream and a woman's "unmentionables".

I don't know about all of you responsible people out there, but I can spend $300 faster than Britney Spears can drop her panties. Let's just say that this is an extreme challenge for me.

It doesn't help that there is always something going on each month. April included my two best friends' birthdays (really guys, you couldn't be born in different months?! Remind me to check birthdays for people I meet that could be potential "friends"). And this month it is Mother's Day and my mother's birthday. Does she really need two days in one month to be recognized? Why couldn't her birthday be in June - oh, wait, that is Father's Day. Ok, why couldn't it be in July? Oh, right, John's birthday. August? Brother's birthday. See what I mean? Always something.

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and family and I love getting them presents and spending a day to just celebrate them. Unfortunately, my wallet doesn't allow me to express my love for them as freely as I would like. So, to my friends and family that read my blog, don't be surprised if you start getting more "hand-crafted" presents in the upcoming year. It may look like an empty Coke can, but really it is a novelty pen holder - voila! 

So, here is to month number one of my new buuuddgg... Ahem, my new bb-b-bb... *breathe* Here is to my new budget! *and exhale*

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go buy some frivolous items such as dental floss and mouth wash.

Weigh-In Wednesday #17

After a week on The Diet (with a hiccup of chocolate birthday cake and grape juice on Sunday) and five hardcore gym days where I tackled this beast...

I am pleased to announce a four pound weight loss! Yay me!

I was getting into the habit of weighing myself everyday and got down to 200 pounds as of Monday, but it didn't stick. I am going to try very hard to wait to weigh myself again until next Wednesday. The great news is that I am officially declaring today as my lowest weight of the month which means that I have lost a total of six pounds since March. Again, yay me!

On another note, it is not a good idea to watch The Biggest Loser while Aunt Flo is in town. I am already crying when I watch it each week, but last night I was in wracking sobs the entire first half of the show!

Current Weight: 201.6 lbs.
Total Weight Loss: 28.4 lbs.
Reason for Weight Loss: I just found out that my brother's fiancee's bachelorette party will entail a pole dancing class. I don't know how I am supposed to lift my 201 pound ass up a pole.

Weigh-In Wednesday #16

I was watching The Biggest Loser last night and Ashley had lost four pounds in one week, which, to her, was very disappointing. I don't know about you, but if I lost four pounds in one week, I would be willing to run the risk of being disowned by all of my friends and calling them at 6:00 am to celebrate my four pound achievement. It takes me two months to lose four pounds and it took Ashley a week. I do understand that it is a different situation and that all they do is workout on The BL, whereas I have real life to deal with on top of fitting in a work out.

So, although I didn't lose a staggering four pounds, I am ecstatic about my 1.2 pound weight loss this week! Not acceptable by BL standards, I am sure I would've been voted off, but by my standards, this week was a win. Yay me!

I found that fasting on Monday really did help me get in the mindset of Phase I for South Beach. I really was happy to just be able to put something, anything, in my mouth. I didn't miss a single carb. Of course, this is just the beginning of day two, so we will see how the momentum keeps up.

To help keep the momentum going, I have been searching for good weight-loss blogs and found one that is truly inspiring: Body by Pizza. Love the title already. The truly amazing thing? She has lost 111 pounds in 16 months! No folks, that was not a typo - one hundred and eleven pounds! And she did it the old fashioned way - working out and counting calories.

One of the things that makes me enjoy a blog are the author's personal pictures, and Rachel has some wonderful before and afters and other pictures throughout her entries. I guess I am still a kid and need pictures whenever I am reading something! Another reason I love Rachel's blog is that she is smart. And crass. Her writing, to me at least, is intelligent and witty. Throw in a couple of expletives and I am hooked!

Another aspect of her blog that I like is that she has a list of her monthly weight and how much she had lost overall for that month on her sidebar. I loved that idea and decided to add my own list to my blog. And you know what? It really made me feel like I have accomplished something. Doing a weekly weigh-in is still a must, but sometimes I have really bad weeks and I feel like I should give up because I can't really control my eating habits. But when I see an overall weight-loss for that month (even if it is just one pound) it really does make it worthwhile.

Current Weight: 205.4 lbs.

Here We Go Again!

Desperate times calls for desperate measures. We are back on The South Beach Diet (a.k.a. The Diet or SBD)!

Unfortunately, I didn't have a chance to go to the grocery store over the weekend, so I decided to fast yesterday to try and cleanse my system of the BBQ and carb filled weekend I had. Besides, I'm catholic, we like to fast. Also, Lauren put it best when she did the Hollywood 48-Hour Miracle Diet and she said, "It really puts the South Beach Diet into perspective, at least you get to eat on that one!" Boy was she right, all I wanted yesterday was a bite of cauliflower and ranch. But I managed to only drink water and tea yesterday and now it is time to binge on some protein. Go Meat!

My last venture with the diet didn't go so well because I have a tendency to modify the strict Phase I. Although hot wings are low carb, they are not a Phase I approved food, but I managed to make it one. Every single day. But no more cheating!

I also decided to take my measurements and was planning on sharing them on my blog until I saw that my thigh is the equivalent of a slender woman's waist. Maybe I can share them with you after a 50 pound weight-loss.

Might As Well jump. JUMP!

I went to the AIRobics class again last night and actually thought to take pictures. I just had my phone with me, so we couldn't get any usable action shots. Here is Lauren and I striking a pose during the first break.

We are starting to get some beautiful weather here in Washington. Perfect for those lunch time walks. I am debating buying a pair of Skechers Shape Ups to add a little umph to my walks. Does anyone else have them? How are they working for you? They cost a pretty penny, so I am doing a little research before spending that kind of cash money.

Here Battah, Battah!

I love thinking outside the box when it comes to exercising. Yesterday, a co-worker, April, took Lauren and I out to the batting cages during our lunch break. Lauren and I have never gone to the batting cages before. The last time I held a bat was when I was struck out over and over again during team sports days in elementary school. I sucked. But going to the batting cages sounded like fun; you don't have to worry about striking out and being the sucky player on the team. Aside from that, it is super cheap! They offer bats to use for free and it costs $1.00 for 20 balls. April told me that she normally does $2.00 worth during her lunch breaks. Ok, Lauren and I will do the same. Of course the guy behind the cash register convinced us to do six rounds for only $5.00. I am so glad he did because it was a blast!

We got to the batting cages and I was immediately intimidated by the large iron fenced structure. Then seeing the ball zooming towards April made it worse! But as intimidated and scared as I was, I was equally as excited. Lauren, on the other hand, declared, "I am not doing this."

We watched April hit the last few balls of her first round and then I went in. Lauren had the stance and conviction of backing out. I went in and started getting that jittery anxious feeling. Being in the cage was completely different than standing outside of it.

You put your token into the slot and a yellow light comes on by the machine that shoots the balls out (forgive my lack of knowledge on the proper terms, we shall call this the "launcher") to let you know that the machine is on. I started jumping up and down like an over-eager two-year-old. Next, a big red light comes on right under the yellow one. I was freaking out at this point. The lights on the launcher looked like the eyes of a lopsided monster about to attack me!

The first ball launched, I swung and missed. The second one launched, and to my surprise, I made a connection with the bat! I hit the ball to the ground, but whatever, I hit the ball! Every un-athletic bone in my body reverbrated with joy. I hit the ball! I hit the ball! I hit the ball!

It was so much fun and all too soon my turn was over. Lauren saw that I didn't kill myself and decided that maybe it was safe to enter the cage. Surprise, surprise, she loved it too! Here are a few pictures from our fun lunch break at the batting cages (it's too bad that my phone doesn't reflect what a truly beautiful day we had here yesterday):

April showing us how it is done!

 

Lauren exhibiting how Betty Boop would be hitting the balls.

This is the picture that will be on my baseball card.

And here is an action shot for you.

I didn't break a sweat, nor was I tired when we were done in the batting cages, which was great since we had to go back to work, but I was surprised to wake up this morning and find that my left side and, ahem!, my left butt cheek were slightly sore.

The batting cages is definitely a fun thing to do during my lunch break instead of going out to eat. I will certainly be back. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go find a pink pair of batting gloves and a pink bat.

!@#$!

It is Weigh-In Wednesday #15. Someone is messing with my emotions. Let me explain...

Yesterday was the first day back to the gym because I have been sick for a couple of weeks. The last time I had gone was on April 2nd. No exercise = no weight loss. I know this, no big deal. On top of that, my friends and I celebrated a birthay on Saturday. This party included pizza, hot wings, and gooey caramely cinnamon buns compliments of Costco. Bad food = no weight loss and/or potential weight gain. I know this.

Bear with me here, this is going to be a long story.

For the past week, I have been consuming less calories per day by skipping breakfast. Not because I condone skipping meals, but I am trying to eat only when I am hungry, and I just am not hungry in the mornings. On top of that, I have been sick and it was super painful to swallow.

I read an article on AOL about a man that lost 50 pounds in 18 months by riding a bicycle and exercising portion control. My biggest problem with food is portion control. So yesterday, after I profusely sweat it out at the gym, I ate dinner. I spooned a portion of spaghetti on my plate that was half the amount I normally would've eaten. I ate the spaghetti and two servings of ceasar salad. An hour after dinner I was getting hunger pains. But I stayed strong and chose not to eat anything else because I knew the next day was my official weigh-in day.

I stayed up until 11:00 to watch The Biggest Loser. I was starving the entire time. I went to bed hungry. I had a hard time falling asleep because I was excited about my weigh-in today. I was expecting a loss of 3-4 pounds. I woke up at 4:00 am and again at 5:00 am. Still hungry both times. Finally, at 6:00 am my alarm goes off. I go into the bathroom, strip down and hop on the scale. I had such a restless sleep that I was super groggy by the time I got on the scale. I stared down at my scale and read the number. It didn't make sense and I totally forgot what I was doing. I rubbed my eyes and cleared my head of the last remnants of sleep. I looked down again. I stared at the number: 195.6 pounds.

No. Way.

No. Fucking. Way.

I did not lose 13 pounds in one week. There is just no way. I have a digital scale that requires you to tap on the scale and wait for it to read 0.00 lbs before hopping on. I step off, wait for the scale to turn off, tap on it, 0.00 shows up, then I hop back on. 195.6 pounds again. It doesn't make sense, so I weigh again. This time, I am at 193.8 pounds. That's not right.

Hop off, scale turns off, tap it, 0.00, get back on. 193.8 pounds.

I don't believe it! Literally do not believe what I am seeing. I try another tactic. I tap on the scale and wait for it to turn to 0.00 pounds. Then I crouch down and press into it with both hands. It said 31.8 pounds. Ok, my scale is good to go. So I again hop off, scale turns off, I tap it, 0.00, and get back on.195.6.

One more time: step down, scale off, tap, 0.00, step on. 193.8 pounds.

My heart races. Could it be? Could my sacrifices of the day before really have been worth it? Did I really just break the 200 mark?

I ran over to a sleeping John and asked him to weigh himself. After what seemed like an hour he says, "According to your scale, I have lost 4 pounds." That is reasonable right? My scale must be accurate. I decide to weigh myself again. By this point, I have brushed my teeth, washed my face and started putting my makeup on. Generally, doing my morning routine could add up to a pound from my initial weigh-in. Fully clothed, I get back on the scale. 206.6.

My heart sank. I knew it. I knew 13 pounds wasn't right, but the scale had me fooled. So now, I didn't want to believe the scale even though I new it was being more accurate. I wanted that "1" in the beginnig of my weight. So I stripped back down and got on the scale. This time it read 200.6 pounds. I wanted to cry. Why was this happening to me?! I weighed myself two more times, same number: 200.6 pounds.

At this point, my daughter had woken up and was watching her morning cartoons. I recruited her to be weighed. She was 55 pounds. This was accurate. I weigh her twice. Same number.

My turn. I step on again. 203.6 pounds.

Weigh again. 203.6 pounds.

I gave up. I decided to mark down what I believed to be the most accurate measurement: 206.6 pounds.

For those of you that struggle with your weight, I think you can feel my pain. I was on the verge of tears. Why was this happening to me and not to Bella or John - neither of them even care about their weight! I'm sorry for the overly described morning I had, but this was really traumatic for me. Breaking through that 200 mark is a huge milestone and I feel like I just got cheated out of it.

Current Weight: 206.6 pounds.
Reason for Weight-Loss: My bridesmaid dress came in this week. I am picking it up today and I know it won't fit yet. I am positive that I need to lose just 15 pounds to fit in that dress by June 25th. I can do this.

Writing

It's been a good long while since I have posted anything about writing. The main reason for that is because I haven't really been writing anything. My current story has been untouched for a few weeks now and has stalled at just over 10,000 words. I still like the idea of it, but haven't found any motivation to write it.

Then, last Tuesday, I got an idea for another story. I started to put it on paper right away and am currently at just over 9,300 words. Not to say that they are quality words, but there they are.

Is this a bad idea? Is this a problem that most writers face: not finishing a story to work on another idea? Am I starting a vicious cycle of partially written ideas?

How many writing projects do you work on at a time?

Weigh-In Wednesday #14

Been a bad week. Caught two seperate viruses in the last two weeks. Not much gym action here. Weight still being maintained though. I am currently at 208.6 lbs.

I went to the doctor's office yesterday to check out my sore throat. Have you ever been tested for strep? It is not pleasant. They take a mile long Q-Tip and swab the very back of your throat. I just about threw up. It kind of caught me off guard  and I apologized for gagging. The nurse replied, "Don't worry, if you didn't gag, we didn't do it right." 

After the doctor appointment, my daughter and I headed back to the car. While we were in the elevator with a stranger, Bella announced, "I tooted." A to the W-E-S-O-M-E.  

PS
Finally listened to the entire Justin Bieber CD. Love most of the songs. Definitely a CD I would recommend purchasing. Or illegaly downloading, however you roll.

PPS
There is a lady sitting in my lobby clipping her nails right now. Not sure what she is doing with her nail clippings. Gross! Get a nail file, lady!

Creepy. Like, Old Lady Creepy

Ok, I have reached a whole nother level of inappropriateness. If you don't know, my first venture into Creepy Old Lady mode is when I realized that I have a crush on this boy young man:

But how could I not?! He is just so darn cute. And those baby blues! Don't get me started. Vanessa Hudgens is a lucky girl - have I mentioned that she is half Filipino? I already have a foot in the door - stop it! Bad, Nearly-Thirty-Year-Old! Bad! Bad! 

Like I said, I know that my crush is inappropriate because I really am too old to have a crush on Zac Efron. But my love for Zac is nothing compared to what I have recently done. A picture says a thousand words right? Ok, here you go, my iPod touch and my newest musical purchase:

I was at a store recently and I picked up Justin Bieber's CD. I like his songs "One Time" and "One Less Lonely Girl", but not enough to have bought those songs. Recently, I heard his song with Ludacris, "Baby", which is why I contemplated buying Justin's newest CD. Well, I put the CD back and decided to check it out on iTunes instead. I have a rule that if I like at least five songs, then I just buy the entire album rather than buying each song individually. There were a few songs that I checked out and liked, but then I listened to a bonus track, the one song on the album that you can't buy individually - either buy the album or go without the song. It was called "Kiss and Tell". I proceeded to click on the "Buy Album" option. This song is pop music at its best! It is upbeat and catchy with really cute lyrics. This song is pretty much on repeat on my iPod. The last time I got stuck on a song like this was "Confessions II" on Usher's Confessions album. (yes, I threw that Usher reference in there to try and make myself seem my age. Oh, and a little cooler. Hopefully...)I will let you know how the rest of the CD is when I get past "Kiss and Tell".

Is there a support group for people with Teeny Bopper Syndrome?