1.) You burn 12 calories by drinking cold water (however, your body absorbs water better at room temperature, go figure.)
2.) Drinking one glass of water before a meal will make you feel full faster; thus you don't risk overeating (this really isn't the case for me.)
3.) Drinking water speeds up the fat-burning process. (the jury is still out with this one.)
Well, those reasons are all fine and dandy, but I will tell you the real reason you lose weight by drinking more water. Be warned, this tale may be a bit TMI for some of you...
I am one of those people that normally doesn't drink water. I am a soda addict, but will otherwise drink juice or something with some flavor to it. However, within the last 4-6 months, I have started to force myself to drink more water. On an average work day, I will drink a 23.8 oz. bottle of Smart Water before my lunch break, and another one after my lunch break. This is on a good day. Sometimes, that bottle sits at my desk completely full and stares at me in all its sparkling promise of weight-loss.
Anyhoo, since Germaine is noticing some positive results with her skin by drinking more water, I decided to up my daily dose too. Yesterday, I drank a cup of coffee in the morning and then drank one bottle of water before my first break at 10:30 am. I refilled my bottle and drank about half of it. Now, this would be half a bottle more than I normally drink in that time frame, plus the extra liquid of coffee in my system.
During my lunch, at noon, I went to the bathroom and pretty much peed water out. Seriously, I left a super clear bowl of water in the toilet. I then went out to my car to read a book and at 12:30 I started feeling the urge again. I told myself, "Self, you can wait a half hour."
Self was wrong. Ten minutes later, I got out of my car, ran to the bathroom and squatted (because I didn't have time to get out one of those paper cover thingies) for five minutes as my bladder emptied. Alright. I should be done.
Nope. When I was done with lunch twenty minutes later, I went again. For another five minutes. I then sat at my desk and started working. Thirty minutes later, there was that dreaded tingling sensation. "I can hold it! I can hold it!" I think to myself.
One minute later.
Two minutes later.
Four minutes.
Five minutes.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine excruciating minutes later, I pass a fellow co-worker asking them to cover my desk as I fly to the bathroom! Let's recap that: In the span of two hours, I emptied my bladder FOUR times!
So the secret to water in relation to weight-loss isn't what you may have been taught. The secret is the calories you lose from the exorbitant amount of times that you have to run to and from the bathroom and the calories lost as you are in the squatting position for five torturous minutes as your body hovers over the toilet since you didn't have time to cover the seat.
Forget fiction, I should write a weight-loss book.
2 comments:
Oh man, I almost peed from laughing at this post! You are too funny. Sitting at that desk is the worst when you have to go to the bathroom. It's all you can think about, but you don't want to leave, so you make yourself hold it. And then run for it when you can!
You should write a fiction chick lit book about weight loss advenures. I know it would be great! Kind of a la Jemima Jones.
LOL, I totally have this problem! I always thought it was just me, like I was having an allergic reaction to water. I guess our bladders are twins. :)
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