My legs are still killing me from Monday.
I still went jogging at 5:00 am this morning.
I. Am. Unstoppable.
'Nuff said.
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Weigh-In Wednesday #21
I am back in Onderland. Hopefully my stay will be longer than two weeks! I lost 2.4 pounds this week. I am positive the weight loss had everything to do with boot camp on Monday. My legs are still sore!
Let me share with you the workouts that we had to do at boot camp on Monday...
***Disclosure! I don't know all of the terms of the workouts, so they may be a little off. Bear with me.***
Like I said, I arrived a few minutes late, but they were just starting their warm-ups. The warm-ups consisted of doing jumping jacks down half the length of a football field. Then we had to go the rest of the way doing high-kicks (you are basically skipping but you lift one knee up as high as you can, then switch to the other knee). Still doing warm-ups, we turn around and do frog jumps. Next is a sideways shuffle where your arms are straight out to your sides and your left leg crosses in front of your right leg, then behind it.Then turn around and do it again switching legs - right leg crosses in front of and then behind the left leg. Sound complicated? It kind of was because I seem to have two left feet. Plus I was tired at this point. Have I mentioned this was just the warm-ups?!
Ok, now that I have a good sweat going on, the real workout begins. We start by doing burpees (this term I did not make up. That is seriously what they are called). Immediately, one of the regulars exclaims, "Ugh! Burpees? I hate burpees!" I shortly found out why she hated them.
A burpee is where you start in the crouching position with your hands on the ground. You kick your feet back so that you are in the plank position, you do a push-up, kick your knees back up to your chest, then spring up with your hands in the air. I found this video for your viewing pleasure. The only thing that wasn't included in the video is the push-up. She had us do 30 of these, to which I replied, "Don't people train to do 30 of those?" Hey, it was my first day, I can complain! Somehow, I managed to finish them.
Next, was circuit training consisting of nine cones placed in a large circle. Each cone was a particular exercise and each "round" was two minutes long:
Cone 1: Bicycle crunches
Cone 2: Push-ups
Cone 3: Squats with a weighted ball
Cone 4: Planks
Cone 5: Bicep curls
Cone 6: Pelvis lifts (not sure what you really call it, but you are lying on the ground with one leg straight out and the other leg is bent. You push your pelvis up through the heel of your bent leg. This totally got my hamstrings burning!)
Cone 7: Resisted run (a stretchy group of bands are placed around your waist and the trainer holds the ends behind you as you run in place)
Cone 8: Agility test (two cones are set two feet apart. In a fluid motion you start on the outside of one cone, then hop in between the cones with one foot, followed by the other, and then hopping to the outside of the second cone also one foot at a time.)
Cone 9: Over-head tricep curls with a weighted ball.
After the cones, we had to run one lap around the track. I knew I could do it since I have been running in the mornings (by the way, when I say "running" it really is jogging to normal people. Really though, a slow jog/fast walk). It took me two minutes and 31 seconds to complete it the lap. I was beat tired.
The last two exercises concentrated on abs. There were six of us, but one participant's 9-year-old daughter decided to join in for this one. Oy vey! The seven of us lined up on the ground. The only thing touching the ground was our bottoms. Our legs were bent and off the ground, and our upper bodies were off the ground too. Then we had a weighted ball where you touch one side of the ground, then the other side, then pass it to the person next to you. The ball had to go all the way down the line AND BACK before we could relax.
The last exercise of the night was simple, but took me FOREVER to finish: 50 sit-ups. Not crunches, but full on sit-ups. Suffice it to say that the 9-year-old finished her 50 while I was completing sit-up number 15. Aah to be young again!
After class was done, the trainer took my measurements. They are still too ghastly to share with you all, but hopefully that will change soon!
Weight: 199.2
Reason for Weight-loss: The countdown to "Fit Into That Bridesmaid Dress" has officially begun - only 31 days left til the wedding!
Let me share with you the workouts that we had to do at boot camp on Monday...
***Disclosure! I don't know all of the terms of the workouts, so they may be a little off. Bear with me.***
Like I said, I arrived a few minutes late, but they were just starting their warm-ups. The warm-ups consisted of doing jumping jacks down half the length of a football field. Then we had to go the rest of the way doing high-kicks (you are basically skipping but you lift one knee up as high as you can, then switch to the other knee). Still doing warm-ups, we turn around and do frog jumps. Next is a sideways shuffle where your arms are straight out to your sides and your left leg crosses in front of your right leg, then behind it.Then turn around and do it again switching legs - right leg crosses in front of and then behind the left leg. Sound complicated? It kind of was because I seem to have two left feet. Plus I was tired at this point. Have I mentioned this was just the warm-ups?!
Ok, now that I have a good sweat going on, the real workout begins. We start by doing burpees (this term I did not make up. That is seriously what they are called). Immediately, one of the regulars exclaims, "Ugh! Burpees? I hate burpees!" I shortly found out why she hated them.
A burpee is where you start in the crouching position with your hands on the ground. You kick your feet back so that you are in the plank position, you do a push-up, kick your knees back up to your chest, then spring up with your hands in the air. I found this video for your viewing pleasure. The only thing that wasn't included in the video is the push-up. She had us do 30 of these, to which I replied, "Don't people train to do 30 of those?" Hey, it was my first day, I can complain! Somehow, I managed to finish them.
Next, was circuit training consisting of nine cones placed in a large circle. Each cone was a particular exercise and each "round" was two minutes long:
Cone 1: Bicycle crunches
Cone 2: Push-ups
Cone 3: Squats with a weighted ball
Cone 4: Planks
Cone 5: Bicep curls
Cone 6: Pelvis lifts (not sure what you really call it, but you are lying on the ground with one leg straight out and the other leg is bent. You push your pelvis up through the heel of your bent leg. This totally got my hamstrings burning!)
Cone 7: Resisted run (a stretchy group of bands are placed around your waist and the trainer holds the ends behind you as you run in place)
Cone 8: Agility test (two cones are set two feet apart. In a fluid motion you start on the outside of one cone, then hop in between the cones with one foot, followed by the other, and then hopping to the outside of the second cone also one foot at a time.)
Cone 9: Over-head tricep curls with a weighted ball.
After the cones, we had to run one lap around the track. I knew I could do it since I have been running in the mornings (by the way, when I say "running" it really is jogging to normal people. Really though, a slow jog/fast walk). It took me two minutes and 31 seconds to complete it the lap. I was beat tired.
The last two exercises concentrated on abs. There were six of us, but one participant's 9-year-old daughter decided to join in for this one. Oy vey! The seven of us lined up on the ground. The only thing touching the ground was our bottoms. Our legs were bent and off the ground, and our upper bodies were off the ground too. Then we had a weighted ball where you touch one side of the ground, then the other side, then pass it to the person next to you. The ball had to go all the way down the line AND BACK before we could relax.
The last exercise of the night was simple, but took me FOREVER to finish: 50 sit-ups. Not crunches, but full on sit-ups. Suffice it to say that the 9-year-old finished her 50 while I was completing sit-up number 15. Aah to be young again!
After class was done, the trainer took my measurements. They are still too ghastly to share with you all, but hopefully that will change soon!
Weight: 199.2
Reason for Weight-loss: The countdown to "Fit Into That Bridesmaid Dress" has officially begun - only 31 days left til the wedding!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!
That's right, I, Princess Melanie, went to boot camp. My body has pateaued with the workouts I keep repeating at the gym. I know I could lose weight faster if I could just watch what I ate. But apparently I would rather torture my body with exercise than control what enters my mouth. So I needed something new.
I had looked into the Snohomish County Boot Camp a few weeks ago, but chickened out after corresponding with the lead trainer. I was all gung ho to go get my butt kicked at boot camp until I expressed a concern that I wouldn't be able to keep up with the class. The trainer emailed back with, "If you've been going to the gym 4 days a week, you'll do just fine and we do have people of all different fitness levels come. We have beginners who can barely jog 1 lap around the track..." Wait a minute - I can barely jog around the track. I mean, I can do it but I am very winded afterwards. Yes, even though I have been running in the mornings for the last three weeks. So I chickened out and didn't sign up.
Two weeks later, the scale is moving in the wrong direction. I decided I had no choice. I had to do this. And besides, I get one week free! So, with trembling fingers, I signed up online. All day yesterday I was scared out of my mind. What if my knees give out? My arms are sore from my previous workout, what if I can't do any of the exercises? What if they scream at me?!
All sorts of horrifying thoughts kept running through my mind until quitting time at 5:00. The term "Boot Camp" just sounds so foreboding. But it was too late to cancel. I was signed up.
I pull in at 6:04 (the trainer knew I would be a bit late) and they were just getting started. The trainer, was easy to spot. She was this cute Asian girl with Oakley's on. She greeted me from across the field with a warm smile, "Are you Melanie?"
From that point on, I was able to relax. The trainer had me jump right in. It was super challenging, but you work at your own pace. Really, it was like your high school PE class - but harder because you are ten years older and are packing on a few - ok a lot! - of extra weight.
I was lucky the trainer was nice. She was motivating and worked us out hard without being overbearing. I don't know that I would be going back if the founder of the boot camp was the trainer: His name is Mr. Pain.
So, if you are tired of your same ole, same ole gym workouts, I suggest hitting the outdoors with a boot camp class. It was great to be with other people working towards the same goal as you and who were struggling just as hard. You aren't the only one!
Friday, May 21, 2010
Tatted Up
Blogging cousins, Pam and Marquita, are followers of YA Highway who posted a question that I loved so much that I have to blog about it.
The question of the week was, "What tattoo would you get to pay homage to a favorite book or celebrate the success of your own?"
I don't know that there is a book out there that I love so much that I would get it tattooed on me. But I do have one completed book. A book I am so attached to that I would have no problems getting a two inch tattoo of - drum roll please! - a MIXTAPE! Oh, and pink, of course. I couldn't find a picture of anything I really liked, so I sketched this:
The question of the week was, "What tattoo would you get to pay homage to a favorite book or celebrate the success of your own?"
I don't know that there is a book out there that I love so much that I would get it tattooed on me. But I do have one completed book. A book I am so attached to that I would have no problems getting a two inch tattoo of - drum roll please! - a MIXTAPE! Oh, and pink, of course. I couldn't find a picture of anything I really liked, so I sketched this:
Ok, I was joking about the "Author!" thing, but you get the idea. Not quite sure where I would put it, either on the back of my neck, right below my hairline and off to the side a bit, or on my back, right below the bra line also to the side. But that second option would only be possible if I wasn't eating this:
The anti-diet.
There is nothing sexy about a bra line tattoo if my bra is cutting into my back fat. Maybe next summer, when I have reached, and am comfortably maintaining, my goal weight!
But don't worry, because thanks to my personal handyman, I now have this at home to work off the anti-diet "snack" I had:
There is nothing sexy about a bra line tattoo if my bra is cutting into my back fat. Maybe next summer, when I have reached, and am comfortably maintaining, my goal weight!
But don't worry, because thanks to my personal handyman, I now have this at home to work off the anti-diet "snack" I had:
I am still planning on waking up at 4:45 on Tuesdays and Thursdays so that I can run on the track because I really like the fresh air. But I figure I up my running regimen and get on the treadmill to jog/walk a mile every morning. I will let you know how that goes. You know me and my "goals"!
Anyway, what about you? Not all of you write, so what kind of tattoo would you get to commemorate accomplishing your biggest goal?
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Weigh-In Wednesday #20
Well, that was a short visit to Onederland - I gained two pounds.
I was so disappointed with myself that I decided not to post anything today. Then I started thinking about how the first step would be to stop the blogging on weight loss and the second step would just to stop the weight loss plan altogether. I don't want to fall into that trap.
So here I am. Tail between my legs, admitting to you that I have failed this week.
It seems to me that it is the going out to eat that gets me into trouble (I own a permanent seat at Outback Steakhouse). The weeks that I don't go out to eat are the weeks that I lose weight. Maybe it is because I eat simpler foods at home. Or maybe it is because when I go out to eat I decide to eat everything on my plate. Plus the appetizer.
Weight: 201.6
Total Weight-loss: 28.4
I was so disappointed with myself that I decided not to post anything today. Then I started thinking about how the first step would be to stop the blogging on weight loss and the second step would just to stop the weight loss plan altogether. I don't want to fall into that trap.
So here I am. Tail between my legs, admitting to you that I have failed this week.
It seems to me that it is the going out to eat that gets me into trouble (I own a permanent seat at Outback Steakhouse). The weeks that I don't go out to eat are the weeks that I lose weight. Maybe it is because I eat simpler foods at home. Or maybe it is because when I go out to eat I decide to eat everything on my plate. Plus the appetizer.
Weight: 201.6
Total Weight-loss: 28.4
Monday, May 17, 2010
Attention Working and Writing Mothers: How Do You Do It?
I want to write, I really do, but between my 8-5 job, my quest to the land of Skinnybitchdom, house chores, and spending time with the fam, I find that writing is the last thing I have time for. I know I am not the only working mom out there that likes to write, so how do you do it? Here is a breakdown of my Monday through Friday schedule:
6:00-7:20 Wake up, get myself ready and my daughter ready (if it is a running day, Tuesdays and Thursdays, then I wake up at 4:45 am then come home and shower).
7:45 Drop Bella off at daycare.
8:00-5:00 I am at work. Sometime during my day at work, I find the time to blog a little bit.
5:15 Pick Bella up from daycare.
5:30 Go to the gym (on Tuesdays I take Bella to gymnastics at 5:45). By the way, the Kindle was made for the gym! I love it - no clunky book to mess with, no page turning. Brilliant!
7:00-7:20 Arrive home.
7:30 Eat dinner.
8:00 Give Bella a bath.
8:30-8:45 I shower.
9:15ish-10:00 or 11:00 Watch TV with John while doing laundry.
10:00-11:00 Get to bed.
Seriously, how do you working mothers do it?!
By the time the weekend arrives, all I want to do is chill on Saturdays. As you can see from my weekday schedule, there isn't much Bella time and I make up for that on the weekends. Since I do little to no cleaning during the weekdays, Sunday is my big house chores day. I am sure I could squeeze some writing time somewhere on Saturday or Sunday, but it is difficult.
I think that a lot of it has to do with how passionate one is with their current project; the more you are into something, the more time you find to do it. I have started reading Cassette from My Ex, which is a compilation of stories about past, real-life relationships in which a mixtape was produced.
Of course I had to go check it out! I did, after all, write a book about just this subject matter (which, if you are new to my blog, you can read the query here). I have to say that I love the book so far. A lot of the songs aren't ones that I am horribly familiar with (apparently mixtapes were more common among the indie rock junkies), but I can still relate to every single one of the stories I have read so far.
I haven't given up on Nori and Mason's story, so I got Cassette from My Ex in hopes that it would ignite another spark in me to rewrite my book. I think I may have reached that point. Stay tuned!
6:00-7:20 Wake up, get myself ready and my daughter ready (if it is a running day, Tuesdays and Thursdays, then I wake up at 4:45 am then come home and shower).
7:45 Drop Bella off at daycare.
8:00-5:00 I am at work. Sometime during my day at work, I find the time to blog a little bit.
5:15 Pick Bella up from daycare.
5:30 Go to the gym (on Tuesdays I take Bella to gymnastics at 5:45). By the way, the Kindle was made for the gym! I love it - no clunky book to mess with, no page turning. Brilliant!
7:00-7:20 Arrive home.
7:30 Eat dinner.
8:00 Give Bella a bath.
8:30-8:45 I shower.
9:15ish-10:00 or 11:00 Watch TV with John while doing laundry.
10:00-11:00 Get to bed.
Seriously, how do you working mothers do it?!
By the time the weekend arrives, all I want to do is chill on Saturdays. As you can see from my weekday schedule, there isn't much Bella time and I make up for that on the weekends. Since I do little to no cleaning during the weekdays, Sunday is my big house chores day. I am sure I could squeeze some writing time somewhere on Saturday or Sunday, but it is difficult.
I think that a lot of it has to do with how passionate one is with their current project; the more you are into something, the more time you find to do it. I have started reading Cassette from My Ex, which is a compilation of stories about past, real-life relationships in which a mixtape was produced.
I haven't given up on Nori and Mason's story, so I got Cassette from My Ex in hopes that it would ignite another spark in me to rewrite my book. I think I may have reached that point. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Weigh-In Wednesday #19
Although I sweat it out at the gym yesterday, I have no weight loss to report - BOO! Hmm, could it have been because of the cheeseburger?
I decided that I am setting a short term goal of losing three pounds by next Wednesday. I know it is a lot of weight to lose in one week, but it is crunch time!
I got a bit of encouragement yesterday when a co-worker said, "Melanie is disappearing on us!" Yay, my 30 pounds lost has made a physical difference!
Monday, May 10, 2010
Proud New Owner Of...
That's right! I got a Kindle for Mother's Day for being such an awesome mama! I was so excited that I cried! Actual tears of joy streaming down my face. I was a bit embarrassed by my reaction because I hate to seem so materialistic! But John did really good this year.
John knew I was interested in a Kindle after a co-worker brought hers in and I fell in love with it. Then I told him about how I was juggling a hardcopy of the The Luxe, by Anna Godbersen, on the elliptical at the gym, and a girl got on a machine next to me, placed her super slim Kindle on the machine and put her hands on the handles and started booking it on the machine. Meanwhile, I am only using my legs to power the machine because my hands were busy holding this huge (433 pages to be exact!) book open. I knew right then and there that I would need to invest in some kind of a digital reader if I was planning on continuing my quest to be a gym rat.
So thank you to John for always making Mother's Day so special! Hmm, now how am I supposed to top this on Father's Day?
And thank you to my absolutely gorgeous little girl, Bella! Because without her existence, I wouldn't have been one of the lucky celebrated people yesterday.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
A Little Too Much Jiggle
I hate running.
Hate it.
Give me the elliptical, the stairmaster, and even the bike (my second least favorite machine!) and I will be ok. But running is the ultimate evil! It probably has a lot to do with that fact that I have too much body jiggling around. But I was inspired by Body by Pizza to start running.
A co-worker gave me a running schedule that she followed when she first started running. It is meant to build your endurance so that I will eventually be Forrest Gump. The first week looked simple enough:
Tuesday: 5x (1 minute run; 1 minute walk)
Thursday: 3x (2 minute run; 1 minute walk)
Saturday/Sunday: 3x (2 minute run; 1 minute walk)
On Tuesday, I woke up at 5:00 am and walked across the street to do my run (my neighborhood is way too hilly and I don't want to frighten my neighbors by creating a small earthquake as I stomp by their house). First run is fine. Second run is still good. By the third minute of running, I was slowing down and huffing a little. The fourth run is where it started getting really tough. By the fifth running minute I was barely jogging!
Despite how large and in charge I am, I go to the gym often enough that I didn't think running for a minute and walking for a minute would be a big deal. But it was! Have I said how much I hate running?
When I came home, I was desperately hungry and threw together this egg white omelete filled with spinach and white cheddar. It looks bland and boring, but it was super delicious! Including the Smart Balance butter that I cooked the omelete with, this dish came out to about 317 calories.
Today, I decided to drive to the local middle school and run on their track. I found that I prefer the track to running on the sidewalk - probably because I must look like a burglar running through a neighborhood at 5 am in my hooded sweathshirt and warm-ups; but the moment my feet hit that orange track, I felt like a freaking track star!
Surprisingly, today was much easier than Tuesday even though I was running for two minutes at a time instead of one. I am sure it had to do with the fact that I only had to do the set three times. Oh, and because I am a track star.
By week six, I am supposed to be able to do a 6 minute run, 1 minute walk, 5 minute run, 1 minute walk, 4 minute run, 1 minute walk. Uh, yeah, we will see how that goes.
Hate it.
Give me the elliptical, the stairmaster, and even the bike (my second least favorite machine!) and I will be ok. But running is the ultimate evil! It probably has a lot to do with that fact that I have too much body jiggling around. But I was inspired by Body by Pizza to start running.
A co-worker gave me a running schedule that she followed when she first started running. It is meant to build your endurance so that I will eventually be Forrest Gump. The first week looked simple enough:
Tuesday: 5x (1 minute run; 1 minute walk)
Thursday: 3x (2 minute run; 1 minute walk)
Saturday/Sunday: 3x (2 minute run; 1 minute walk)
On Tuesday, I woke up at 5:00 am and walked across the street to do my run (my neighborhood is way too hilly and I don't want to frighten my neighbors by creating a small earthquake as I stomp by their house). First run is fine. Second run is still good. By the third minute of running, I was slowing down and huffing a little. The fourth run is where it started getting really tough. By the fifth running minute I was barely jogging!
Despite how large and in charge I am, I go to the gym often enough that I didn't think running for a minute and walking for a minute would be a big deal. But it was! Have I said how much I hate running?
Today, I decided to drive to the local middle school and run on their track. I found that I prefer the track to running on the sidewalk - probably because I must look like a burglar running through a neighborhood at 5 am in my hooded sweathshirt and warm-ups; but the moment my feet hit that orange track, I felt like a freaking track star!
Surprisingly, today was much easier than Tuesday even though I was running for two minutes at a time instead of one. I am sure it had to do with the fact that I only had to do the set three times. Oh, and because I am a track star.
By week six, I am supposed to be able to do a 6 minute run, 1 minute walk, 5 minute run, 1 minute walk, 4 minute run, 1 minute walk. Uh, yeah, we will see how that goes.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Welcome To Onederland, Hope You're Here To Stay!
Welcome to Weigh-In Wednesday #18, where I can proudly say that I am in the 100s!!!
For your viewing pleasure:
I have recently started reading a lot of weight-loss blogs and I have come to find that everone cleverly calls the 100s "Onederland". I dig it. And now I am officially part of it - barely!
This means that I have lost two pounds this past week. Really, though, it should've been more. But then Costco pizza happened on Saturday. And then their gooey cinnabuns happened after that. I basically had a very fun weekend.
On top of finally breaking below 200 pounds, I reached another milestone today... I have officially hit the 30 pounds lost mark! Oh happy day!
As exciting as this is, I keep thinking back to 2005 where I had lost 30 pounds also. At that time, I was down to 179 pounds. It sucks that I have let myself go so much that I now have to lose double the amount I did in 2005 just to reach that lower weight again!
But enough of the glass being half empty. I have lost 30 pounds dammit, and I am under 200 pounds. I am a rockstar.
For your viewing pleasure:
I have recently started reading a lot of weight-loss blogs and I have come to find that everone cleverly calls the 100s "Onederland". I dig it. And now I am officially part of it - barely!
This means that I have lost two pounds this past week. Really, though, it should've been more. But then Costco pizza happened on Saturday. And then their gooey cinnabuns happened after that. I basically had a very fun weekend.
On top of finally breaking below 200 pounds, I reached another milestone today... I have officially hit the 30 pounds lost mark! Oh happy day!
As exciting as this is, I keep thinking back to 2005 where I had lost 30 pounds also. At that time, I was down to 179 pounds. It sucks that I have let myself go so much that I now have to lose double the amount I did in 2005 just to reach that lower weight again!
But enough of the glass being half empty. I have lost 30 pounds dammit, and I am under 200 pounds. I am a rockstar.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
The H2O Diet
1.) You burn 12 calories by drinking cold water (however, your body absorbs water better at room temperature, go figure.)
2.) Drinking one glass of water before a meal will make you feel full faster; thus you don't risk overeating (this really isn't the case for me.)
3.) Drinking water speeds up the fat-burning process. (the jury is still out with this one.)
Well, those reasons are all fine and dandy, but I will tell you the real reason you lose weight by drinking more water. Be warned, this tale may be a bit TMI for some of you...
I am one of those people that normally doesn't drink water. I am a soda addict, but will otherwise drink juice or something with some flavor to it. However, within the last 4-6 months, I have started to force myself to drink more water. On an average work day, I will drink a 23.8 oz. bottle of Smart Water before my lunch break, and another one after my lunch break. This is on a good day. Sometimes, that bottle sits at my desk completely full and stares at me in all its sparkling promise of weight-loss.
Anyhoo, since Germaine is noticing some positive results with her skin by drinking more water, I decided to up my daily dose too. Yesterday, I drank a cup of coffee in the morning and then drank one bottle of water before my first break at 10:30 am. I refilled my bottle and drank about half of it. Now, this would be half a bottle more than I normally drink in that time frame, plus the extra liquid of coffee in my system.
During my lunch, at noon, I went to the bathroom and pretty much peed water out. Seriously, I left a super clear bowl of water in the toilet. I then went out to my car to read a book and at 12:30 I started feeling the urge again. I told myself, "Self, you can wait a half hour."
Self was wrong. Ten minutes later, I got out of my car, ran to the bathroom and squatted (because I didn't have time to get out one of those paper cover thingies) for five minutes as my bladder emptied. Alright. I should be done.
Nope. When I was done with lunch twenty minutes later, I went again. For another five minutes. I then sat at my desk and started working. Thirty minutes later, there was that dreaded tingling sensation. "I can hold it! I can hold it!" I think to myself.
One minute later.
Two minutes later.
Four minutes.
Five minutes.
Seven.
Eight.
Nine excruciating minutes later, I pass a fellow co-worker asking them to cover my desk as I fly to the bathroom! Let's recap that: In the span of two hours, I emptied my bladder FOUR times!
So the secret to water in relation to weight-loss isn't what you may have been taught. The secret is the calories you lose from the exorbitant amount of times that you have to run to and from the bathroom and the calories lost as you are in the squatting position for five torturous minutes as your body hovers over the toilet since you didn't have time to cover the seat.
Forget fiction, I should write a weight-loss book.
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